At Last

10 Dec

Dear reader,

It has been a while since I last posted, and now that blogging is not one of my habits anymore, it is hard to find my way again. I am not sure how to write about the weeks that have passed; so I will just write down what comes to mind right now.

Firstly, how much do I weigh now? I guess this is a question I cannot really ignore. I currently weigh 65,7 kgs, which is 145 pounds. I am definitely getting there – and I haven’t fallen off the wagon. I am still continuing my weight loss journey on my own, because this is something I want to do for me.

So why did I stop blogging? Well, basically, reality hit me. I knew I was extremely busy and that I didn’t have the time to blog every day, but I thought blogging was the one thing that made me stick to my diet. I realized I was wrong. This strenght, the strenght to stay on track, is something that’s within me. Blogging can only do so much – at the end of the day it’s just you and your journey. No matter how supportive others are, this weight upon my shoulders is mine to bear. And I have – and I will until the end. I guess this hit me when I got a lecture on what the future could hold for us Honours Students, and I realized I didn’t want to miss out on that. I need a good GPA, which means I have to give up blogging for now. Exam week is coming again, and right now I don’t think the pro’s outweigh the con’s.

I have been gone for weeks – and although I still get a lot of traffic every day, there’s only been one person who reached out to me. Sure, I didn’t expect to get tons of emails, but I guess I expected some people to reach out, at least. People I have conversed with daily, and shared all the ins and outs of my life with. But I guess that’s just not the way it is – it’s a shame.

For now, I haven’t got anything planned blogwise. I’ll keep this blog, in case I want to something with it in the future. I will be losing weight and I will reach my goal. I just won’t share it with the world anymore.

Best wishes and take care,



Day 34: The Perfect Dress

16 Nov

Dear reader,

I was thinking about writing another post about the current challenges I am facing regarding my weight loss. How hungry I am feeling all day long and how tempting it is to slip off the wagon. I decided not to write about all these things, because I don’t want them to occupy my mind any longer. I want to lose weight and I need motivation to do so. I’m still not on my period yet, so I feel bad whenever I eat more than usual (if I’m on my period I know I need more energy so I don’t care about an extra slice of bread, but now I just feel like I am cheating in a way. It’s hard to explain). Anyway, let me show you the perfect dress. The dress I want to fit in and look amazing in.

Same dress, but then in red (I have this dress too). My ideal dress is white.

Closer look

Dress from behind

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Day 33: Balancing On The Wagon

15 Nov

Dear reader,

You read it very often on WordPress. Weight loss bloggers who write they have fallen off the metaphorical wagon. It doesn’t seem to be a big issue: you fall off, you don’t post for ages and when you return, people are there to tell you to keep going. But there’s more than just black and white. I feel like I am balancing on this very same wagon. I am trying to hold on to my healthy eating pattern, but several challenges are trying to make me give up. I am hoping life will feel a bit less stressful after I’ve written a post about it – I really do!

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Day 32: Where’s The Excitement?

14 Nov

Dear reader,

Here I am. I just watched 11 episodes of “Awkward” (11 because number 12 isn’t available in my country yet) and I am stuck behind my laptop. Physically, that is, because mentally I am in my own little world again. It is funny how you can miss something you never had. I can watch all the hating, the cliques, the bullying and every other nasty thing that happens in an American high school and still wish I was there. I wish I could go to one, even though I would probably be one of the outcasts anyway. I just want the experience. Sure, the grass is always greener on the other side, but I just… well, this mood just makes me wonder about all the things in life I miss.

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Day 31: Weigh In Week 5

13 Nov

Dear reader,

I can’t believe it – it’s my fifth weigh-in already! Time flies. Before I started this blog, I never thought I would be able to stick at losing weight for so long. I remember the endless walks in the evening air, just trying to make sense of my bad eating habits. Trying to figure out why I kept failing, despite the fact that I wanted to lose weight so badly… I will not ramble on, so let’s get down to the facts of this week’s weigh-in!

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Day 30: Seeing Results

12 Nov

Dear reader,

I haven’t exactly seen the results I had been hoping for on the scales the last few weeks. I lost weight and thereby made a step in the right direction, but my body didn’t really change in my opinion. When my family came over to see me a few weeks ago, they definitely saw changes, but I was wondering if they were just trying to be polite. But tonight, before I started working out, I noticed a big difference: my legs are finally getting into shape! My problem area is finally starting to change.

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Day 29: Second Chances

11 Nov

Dear reader,

I learned a valuable lesson today. I can go to bed feeling happy, knowing that life has tried to broaden my view once more. I am thankful for all those little moments in which life seems to make sense. Those moments in which a little light bulb lights up in my head, as if I cracked a code and finally found what I have been looking for.

We all know a person we cannot stand. Maybe we feel this way because that person is more successful than we are, or brighter, or even sneakier. Maybe that person does not deserve all the things he/she achieves. Or maybe we just don’t really have a reason to dislike that person. The person I am talking about here, S, is an example of someone I did not like without having a valid reason. He has never done anything mean or bad towards me, but still, I did not like him.

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